Cheap, Drunk, Lazy Bastard Beef Bourguignon

Posted by Michael on Nov 12, 2008 in Recipes | 1 comment

By Mike Hawkins

Last week a sommelier friend of mine gave me five bottles of Shiraz wine with the instructions that because each of them had already been opened and sampled, I was to consume them within three or four days.
Otay.  Mishun accomblished…*hiccup*.
Do you see stars?
Anyway, I found ways to pound through the wine by cooking with it.  On one night in particular, a half bottle of Shiraz got me thinking, “hey, what could I do with this other half of a bottle of Shiraz?”
So after drinking it, I decided to open another bottle and make some supper.   I was in no shape to drive anywhere for any ingredients so supper was going to have to come from food on hand.   I had a few vegetables on hand and a bunch of frozen stuff.
Hmmm….hiccup….there’s some stew beef in the freezer.  Three bucks worth.
I was in no shape to do anything fancy so I slapped a pot on the stove, cut some onion and garlic, opened a can of tomato paste and off I went.   A pinch of thyme, a pinch of rosemary, my usual “gobs” of pepper and supper was well on its way.   The sauce proved to be so flavourful I felt I needed to do little else but just drop the frozen beef in and let stew until tender.
That would, of course, take a couple of hours at least so what was I going to do during that time?
Once again, mishun accomblished…..*hiccup*.
Using a number of techniques I actually learned while sober, the result was a dish that was pretty spectacular for such a lazy and cheap recipe.   The beef was fork tender after a couple of hours and bathed in the most beautiful, velvety thick sauce.   Served up with some garlic mashed potatoes – another super simple dish that’s greater than the sum of its very few parts – this was really a dish fit for a king, or at least someone more accomplished than this cheap drunk bastard.
If you have to go out and buy wine (who does that?), there are plenty available under $12 that are great for drinking and drinking and drinking and cooking.   I recently picked up a Las Moras Shiraz (Argentina) for $9.99 for example.  Nice wine!  Get cooking!

Cheap Drunk Bastard Beef Bourguignon

2 slices of bacon
2 tablespoons butter
1 onion, chopped as safely as you can while somewhat corked
1 stalk celery, chopped (see onion above)
4 cloves garlic.  Just smash them.  Just smash them.
1/2 of a 5 oz can of tomato paste
1/2 bottle of Shiraz or other full bodied wine, plus lots more to drink
1 lb stew beef.  Go cheap or go home.  Frozen solid is just fine.
Hefty pinch of dried rosemary and thyme
Salt and black pepper to taste
Water as needed.
Optional – chopped green onions, chopped mushrooms

Heat a large, high sided fry pan over medium heat for several minutes.  Lay in the two slices of bacon and let cook until just nicely browned.  Remove the bacon and let cool for a couple minutes.  If you can manage not to eat them, break them up and set aside until later.   Add the butter to the pan, then the onion and celery.   Saute gently for a good five minutes until softened.  Add the garlic, then the tomato paste.   Stir well and fry for two or three minutes until the mixture is really fragrant.  (Frying the tomato paste really makes a big difference in the dish and it’s what saves you from having to brown the beef, so don’t skip it.)   Pour in the half bottle of wine and stir well until smooth.   Lay in your frozen beef and coat it with the mixture.  Let simmer for a good 10 minutes until it’s thawed and starting to break apart.  Add in the bacon bits to the pan.  Season well with rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper.   Reduce heat to medium-low.   Let simmer for another 20 minutes or so, then start ladling in some water to keep it from reducing too much.   The idea is to braise, not boil. After two hours or so, the beef should be nice and tender.  Add water as necessary so you have a wonderful, thick gravy.  Serve with garlic mashed potatoes.